The fable of Coonie

There's a feller that travels round these parts in an '86 Ford Bronco (we ain't talkin no Bronco II, we're talkin all out balls-to-the-wall-huge-ass-V8-Full-size Bronco...and eff Eddie Bauer). This guy has got himself a personalized license plate that says "Coonie" and below this license plate that says "Coonie" are two ridiculous cowbells hanging from a trailer hitch. Now, Mr. Coonie travels with a rough crowd. He's got a tatoo on his right arm that says, "Destructive Gun" and a tatoo on his left arm that says, "CRUSHER!" (emphasis on the exclaimation point). His left arm is noticeably bigger than his right. Coonie is the Jackson County arm wrestling champion 4 years running, and he's hoping to take state like he did back in '79 when he was 19. Coonie didn't always travel with a rough crowd. Infact, one time he was in school (Grades 1-5...grade 3 for about 4 years) and he had dreams of owning a great big house with a lot of vinyl siding...instead he's got him a pretty sweet pad that he throws in the bed of his bronco. He's also got this 95 lbs. dumbell that he only uses on his left arm (says, "Gotta Keep in Shape!"). Sometimes he brings the weight up too high and knocks out his false front tooth (He lost it in a bar fight with John Bobby Johnson about six years ago). It's no big deal to put it back in, it's made from some granite he stole from the north quarry. Coonie, who's real name is Ted Rex Coonster IV, loves to eat snowcones. His favorite flavor is "purple." Coonie is still looking for that special lady to fill his life. He can't seem to find a lovely lady that loves his Bronco home/arm wrestling lifestyle as much as him. "I know she's out there I seen her. She's got a gold tooth--I bet she's loaded! We can get a 90s model Bronco" (straight from the horse's ass).
If you ever want to find Coonie, he likes to park his Bronco round the back of the Texaco-China Buffet-Taxidermy service building. He'll be the tall guy with the lop-sided arms , holding a can of Natty Light, and grinning at you with a rock in his smile.

I hate myself

uh...a gross few days

Some bad things have happened in the last week or so and here they are in no specific order:
- Mallorie broke her back
- I got so sick Saturday night.
- My effin throat is hurting
-I overslept to work the desk this morning
- I wrote the worst song I've ever written
-I left this ridiculous voice message on a lovely young lady's phone. She probably thinks I'm crazy.

Some good things have happened in the last week or so and here they are in no specific order:
-Mallorie is going to be ok.
-I'm not sick from Saturday night anymore
-I dropped some skittles in a mailbox.
-I learned a couple of awesome songs
-I kissed Clare Sabatini at the bar of the Kaffe Klatch to get a dollar from Justin Pruitt cause he didn't think I'd try. I decided to let Justin keep the dollar...so there's two times I've kissed Clare...both times were not a serious kiss. JUST FYI. And I don't just go around kissing random people. Clare and I go WAY back now.
-I left this ridiculous voice message on a lovely young lady's phone. She probably thinks I'm crazy.


So...right now I'm just sitting at the NCRH front desk. Trying to do a little updating...but the soccer kids are not using their swipe cards and I'm having to let them in like every 30 seconds...and it's really starting to piss me off. I think I made ol'girl mad last night. I went to see her...probably shouldn't have. I apologize.

I spent a lot of the evening yesterday at the hospital with Mallorie. It was okay when she was laying there, but when they had to put the brace on her for her back and I saw her wincing in pain I felt horrible and upset. I had to go out in the hall for a minute and collect myself. It is really hard to see someone you care for so much in so much pain. It's hard whether they are in a hospital or just in their room hiding out. Both of which she's done a lot of lately. And it sucks.

I wish I were worth wasting time on.

I am though. I believe. Just give me one reason to stay here.

FREAKIN LEAVE SOME COMMENTS YOU LAMEASSES!!!!

Awesome Night then a really HOT day...I mean...HOT

So, I picked ol'girl up at 6PM (and in retrospect this was way way too early) and I took her to Wal-mart to buy socks. Of course this is a very curious way to start a date. I'm sure she was kinda confused and worried by it at first. But I guess it made sense when we got to the iceplex. I like to ice skate on dates. I don't know why...it's just a great way to break the ice...sometimes with your face...or butt... And we skated till about 7:15 or so...then I decided it was time to go eat cause I was hungry and my whussy old man ankles were hurting. Yes, she beat me at ice skating...but I didn't know it was competition. She just picks things up faster than I do....at least that's what she said. I don't mind really. Infact, I think it's kinda cool. Anyway, we went on our way to Zasios (not sure on the spelling on that one) --the food was really good, and the company was even better...the best I could hope for. And it was just a really nice place. I recommend going there sometime. It's behind the star market at five points. So after dinner it was still really early and I was struggling to think of something else to do...cause what good date ever gets over at 8:30...uh...uh...yeah that's right...good dates don't get over early. So we went to play putt-putt at Funtasia. This girl, understand it...she's crazy competitive...and I like that...but I think putt-putt must be her weakness. I never added up the score but I think I won. Maybe. Even though it doesn't matter. Does it? After putt-putt we went to blockbuster and rented a movie called "BE COOL"--- We went and watched it in the MPR...and Steven Tyler said the most hilarious line in it..."Look at how those two legs just come up and make an ass of themselves." Apparently this girl is a biter too. lol, at least she snapped at me a few times. It was not "adorable."....however it was "endearing." After the movie I took her home and said goodnight.

Anyway, I had fun. Fun is what I EXPECTED...nothing more and nothing less. I just hope she keeps giving me the chance to have fun with her. Ok, that didn't sound right. I don't know how else to say it though...it isn't dirty you perverts. She's a sweet girl and I'll cuss you if you think otherwise.

So...I went to bed that evening at 2:15AM...but then I got up at 5AM...to go to six flags....and thus began the most horrible day in the heat I've ever suffered...and believe me, I've been to a lot...I MEAN A LOT of track meets...and in several different places...none were as bad as this. So...ATLANTA....

after a wonderful 4 hour drive, we made it to the park. I forgot to get a ticket the day before so I was scared I was going to have to pay full price. (tickets at the UC are half price yo) - So, I mingled a little with the people in line ahead of me at the ticket booth and it turned out these two guys needed help. One had a season pass, the other had a buy one get one free ticket. The problem...he couldn't use the buy one get one free unless he had another person. SWEET, so these two brazilian guys Miguel and Raphael, saved me about 23 bucks...I guess that's the last good thing that happened that day.

Don't get me wrong. I had fun. But I've never dealt with heat and felt as bad as I did yesterday. For quite a while (after my 11 dollar hotdog,fries, and pink lemonade) I felt like I was going to just pass out. I attribute this to a few things: 1. I was going hard on a little less than 3 hours of sleep. 2. That lunch was just ridiculously nasty. 3. It was EFFIN HOT...hottest day of the year 4. I have given up sodas...so guess what? NO CAFFEINE.

It was like I couldn't stay hydrated. Afterward I chugged so much gatorade. You have no idea. Imagine 8 hours of just sweating...like a disgusting pig. Anyway, yeah...so the heat was bad...the crowd wasn't terribly bad. The waits in lines were not very long sometimes. The line for the Scorcher was awesome...basically you walked up and got on the ride. It took a longer time in line for the Haunted Plantation...which by the way is officially the suckiest ride at six flags....and that includes the horrible beating you'll take if you ride the Cyclone...I promise. But the day was still a lot of fun. Some kids made fun of my pink shirt that I was wearing. I let it go the first two or three times...but the fourth time I told their mommy. This is what I said, "Ma'am are these children with you because they are being very rude and I don't appreciate it." Her reply, "just got ahead and beat them up. I don't care." -WOW>

So this is what I think would have been the funniest thing to say to that woman in the first place: "Ma'am, you should really speak to your children about the dangers of harassing complete strangers. You see, sometimes when you talk to strangers bad things happen. I'm a stranger, and I'm afraid bad things are about to happen." --I couldn't do it though. CURSE MY EAGLE SCOUT POLITE NATURE.

They always say being an eagle scout is a big deal. I've decided that it must not be really.

Anyway, despite the suck of the HEAT...I still had fun...and here are some notes:

People in attendance:
1. Alfred Nick Hensley
2. Bessima R. England
3. Kurt Stefanie
4. Alston "King" Johnson
5. Beth "The Deuce" Scavarda
6. Daylon "damnitshot" Aqeel
7. Ashley "Watertotin" Hill
8. Christine "Fearless Leader" Sargent
9. Scott "the transporter" Royce
10. Kelly "getouttamyfacematt" Lamb
11. Brock "and ya don't stop" Kimbrel
* honorable mention: Rebecca "trafficjam" Blount

Sidenotes:
- "am I bleeding?" -Scott Royce
- Me: I thought that girl was gonna blow chunks
Beth: Me too...I was trying to get out of the way
Me: SO SHE COULD PUKE ON ME?????!!!!????
-"WHO sings this?" -Kelly "Matt Wilson does" -Scott Royce (as I'm belting "hooked on a feeling" on the way home)
-"man, crappy ass...(trailing off)" -A frustrated Alfred sometime during lunch
-"Let's go get a picture with Tweety. " -Daylon
- "This fountain water is really hitting the spot. You guys are missing out. " -Brock as we wait in line at the Haunted Plantation...after Alston got him a cup of water...out of a FOUNTAIN FULL OF CHANGE---HE ACTUALLY DRANK IT...YES...YES HE DID.
- this kid at lunch just screamin the F-bomb everywhere about a stupid "throwbak jersey." I mean cussin up at storm...this little black boy couldn't have been older than 12...and to top it off...I mean this really made me laugh. After 5 minutes of cussing about a Jersey...the kid goes, "Damn I need a cigarette."
-"seriously, no one should ever smoke. It's the most disgusting thing ever." -Ol'girl (and I agree with that statement)
- Dippin dots right before the Georgia Scorcher
-there was this ridiculous hairy man infront of me on the Great American Scream Machine--he was wearing next to nothing...and put his arms up in the air the whole time...imagine the wonderful smells and body secretions that flew on MY FACE...ah yes, wonderful times.
-Beth nearly fell down the stairs after the superman ride. She skidded down three steps and caught herself...I was the only one that saw it. But now it is immortalized in the written WORD.
-Nick: it says you shouldn't ride the flume ride while pregnant.
Kelsey: Isn't the flume ride what got her pregnant in the first place?
- Kurt screaming at the top of his lungs the whole time that ANY...I mean ANY ride was in motion.
-I've never seen so much NAST--as the NASTY I saw at that park yesterday. People, I mean UGLY people running around in next to nothing...it really helps a stomach settle after a disgusting lunch of a footlong hotdog...
-I swear I saw your evil twin at six flags yesterday.
-"can I have a cookie?" -one of the kids making fun of my pink shirt
"no, but how would you like my hand across your lip?" -kid's mom
-wow, i've never seen someone stick to the pavement like that before.
- Mallorie, Stephanie, Thiago...JOHN...you're all lame for not going...you too MUNN.
-Ted D. Ray would have gone to six flags. I bet you anything.
- "Oh man, your phone is in there. It's right behind those cheese crackers you're holding." -Nick
"Nick if these things I'm holding are cheese crackers you've been sorely mislead. However, cheese crackers might be just as absorbant." -Me
-"You want some Excedrin Migrain?" Ashley
"I tell you he doesn't want any Midol." - Beth
"Damn skippy I don't." -Me
- Me: If they come out here and say they want to ride Batman again, let's strangle them.
Kurt: Ok.
- As we were sitting beneath the swings that go really high in the air... in the shade. I was telling Alfred and Kurt about how if one of those people decided it was a good time to puke...we'd all get a little sweet relief from the heat...heck yes, a puke shower.
- I wish I had played a game and won a prize. Preferably the pillow that said "DIVA"


GAH...that was a long post.

If I were ever going to seriously shout the F-BOMB

now would be the most appropriate time in my life...

Am I the only sane one left?

ok you know what..... FUCK!
It gets me real pissed off and I'm saying FUCK.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK...

FUCK.

sorry to those of you that don't understand what this is all about...I'm just really really pissed right now.

So basically...I apologize for my moments of vulgarity...but I'm just so unbelievably pissed you have no idea.

So basically, I was called a liar. If my intentions were anything other than what I've said...you would know...because I would tell you. And it's a shame, because I was your friend. True blue....only concerned with your well being and happiness and you've thrown it away now. ....you've really hurt me.

MY quads...I can't feel my quads!!!!

So dang...I guess I ended up biking ALOT the other day...thus the title of this entry.

Yeah, I fixed up a bike for Mallorie and left it in her room the other morning. (She was out of town so it was gonna be a surprise...and I guess it was)...We might be going to ride some later, but it's entirely up to her. I sent her a text about it....I dunno...maybe I should call? Nah, probably a bad idea.

So we washed SO MUCH laundry today. Something like 80 dollars worth...I mean gah, that's a flippin lot of washing. And we had to fold too. So today has been pretty tiring as far as that goes.

I got to hang out with the sweet young lady again last night. She's very interesting I've got to admit...she keeps me on my toes...and it isn't because she's tall (*wink*). I wrote a lot in my paper journal last night, and happened to run into her as she was coming in the building. She kept saying she was stinky but I never noticed...AND we ALL KNOW that I have a SENSITIVE sense of SMELL.

...ooo a japanese plum!!!

Poor Thiago. I feel so bad for him. I think he's gonna have a breakdown if he keeps this up.

So I also went and hung out with the Mary Cole yesterday. She had been painting her room and I desperately wanted to see it. So I went and saw it...when she let me.

I seriously had a dream last night that I was spiderman. I was swinging all over town....but there's a problem with being spiderman in Huntsville...or anywhere in the south really...we have no skyscrapers. So basically...I was swinging on light poles and stuff....it was really ridiculous...

Kelsey and Nick came over last night and hung out for a while...it was way cool of Kelsey to make this nifty pocket thingy for my lofted bed. So KUDOS to her for that....and also a big THANKYOU.

I dunno what the Kelly Lamb does these days... I think she made spaghetti and garlic bread yesterday though...I could smell it in the hall as I was stalking outside her door.

Sidenotes:
1. Sully on a rascal.
2. Mary Cole and the endearing soul.
3. My bike pump is crap. I had to take that bike to a gas station and pump air in the tires. Good thing I've got a SUV.
4. Having a SUV also comes in handy when your mom and I go on dates.
5. "This is my friend, Alfred."
6. "Hey, nice to meet y'all. My name is actually Nick."
7. Facial hair = pain in the ass.
8. I hate the word linen.
9. Me: "hey we should all get drunk and fold linen."
John Ellis Gifford III: "Dude are you gay? Why should we all get drunk and fool with men?"
-John you should really get your hearing checked.
10. "Assjuice towels" - Daylon
11. DAMN I'm VULGAR today. I should cut back on the curse words on here.
12. I look at you every time as if I have never seen your face before...you are always new.
13. One should not scribble notes on memo pad paper and hand them to co-workers.
14. Ben Thomason loves midgets...I am so repulsed by him.
15. Hi Miranda.

She has nothing to say to me
I get nothing in return
And I'm always one to play with fire
I like her flaming glow
I like her heat
Much more than she'll ever know
No matter what I never learn
She's fire on a match
Moving toward my finger tips
I want to put her to my lips
I never think how it will burn

Nothing like a Coca-Cola Classic

AT 7AM!!!!!!!

So here it is...the weekend once again...and I'm all alone at the desk. I'm beginning to realize that taking other peoples' desk shifts on the weekends is not paying off....because...I never get to really sleep in like I want to. And I'm sure everyone else is boo-hooin at me and believes I'm lame for saying so...but GAH!

So I feel a lot better this morning than I have in a long time. And I have a few things to be happy about. Here they are in no specific order:

-Gus
-Olaf
-Oscar (The Cuss)
-Private concert for a sweet young lady
-Good AIM talks with a friend I thought had shut me out "fer good"-- it's just comforting to know that she's over the "eff off" stage at me...maybe.
-hangin with the T-bird last night.
-Nick and Kelsey goat wranglin at the Wilson Homestead.
-YOUR MOM.

I have a few things to be sad about. Here they are in no specific order:

- scratched forehead from a crazed goat (more on this later)
-It's 7 the EFF in the morning...and I'm at the desk...It's saturday.
-Boeing teachers missing the bus. I got here at 7AM...seems like they could too.
-Dude that Lady's perfume was rank...overwhelming...chokin me...worse than the goat smell.


So anyway, I had a really nice evening the other night with a pretty great girl. At least this is my first impression of her. I could be wrong...I've been WAY wrong before...but I hope I'm not wrong this time. She came over and I played some of my songs at her, then we walked to Southeast for the dessert program the RAs put on, then we walked back to her room and sat for a while and talked. I left with a great satisfaction that I'd met a pretty cool person.

Yesterday...
Yesterday was a ridiculous day...we got up to work at 9am...but then we had to stop at 10:30 cause we didnt plan on Compass not having checked out. So we breaked till like 1:30...we also had a very interesting meeting...where Juanita said "Penis head" --Most of us were there...Thiago and Mallorie missed it but I was rolling on the floor laughing. It was one of those things where she wanted to cuss but caught herself in time and made it just at tiny bit funnier than it should have been. We all went to the cafeteria for lunch...minus Mallorie, and Thiago...Thiago who wanted to nap...and it was Mallorie's day off...somethin...???

We got off work early...say around 3 or so...I got my paycheck...called the fam...

Mother wanted me to come home and get the jeep (I was more than willing to do that...YAY...the JEEP!!!! Oh how I've missed it. And I need to name it...any ideas?) So, I went to Redstone Credit Union to deposit my check (GAG...I was there for like 30 minutes) then I called the Nick and Kelsey to see if they wanted to go to the goat farm. (My mom then called me back and wanted me to come ready to seperate the goats we wanted to take to sale from the rest of the herd) Nick and Kelsey came along and we had a pleasant ride to Scottsboro. Then we got there and I helped my mom grab goats, some got tagged...others got put to sale...I was grabbing this one goat and suddenly there's this goat jumping off the hogwire fence behind me and flying past my head sideways....the horn caught me across the forehead...and if it had been about two inches lower...TWO INCHES...the horn would have hit my eye...and by GAWD...I think I'd have killed that goat if that had happened. Anyway, it just really freaked me out and Kelsey and Nick thought it was hilarious. We all went up to the house and got cleaned up (on the way I found 3 four leaf clovers...I promise you they just jump out at me...I found them all in about 45 seconds...it's some kinda crazy talent I have) Um, I showered and then we went to Sonic and drove back to Huntsville.

Sorry, there will be no sidenotes today.

"And you tell me that it's over, I wake up laying in a patch of four-leaf clovers" - Something Corporate (Konstantine)
-great song...thanks Mal.


Living Life

The greenest trees
You'll ever see
Are the ones in your mind
And all the answers
And all the dreams
Will come to you in time
yeah you are living life
Yeah you are living life
Yeah you are living life
The way it feels

I know the world around you
Everyone shares the sky
You never see the darkness
You are the daylight
yeah you are living life
Yeah you are living life
Yeah you are living life
The way it feels

Walk away with a smile
Don't forget about your past
Don't keep yourself from giving
I am always watching you
Be yourself and staying true
Because it makes me feel
That life's worth living

Yeah you are living life
Yeah you are living life
Yeah you are living life
The way it feels
And that is real (Ben Kweller- Living Life)

Somebody give me a round of applause

This is my 40th post!!!!

So, today...bored as hell. I got up at 5AM to go to CCRH for an hour....we met at 6...but I had to work at North's desk at 7...and since I did absolutely no work at CCRH...it was pointless for me to go at all. So...why couldn't I have just slept till 7? I dunno.

Have you ever seen Alfred Nick Hensley smashing long drives through a thunderstorm? He's one crazy man with his crazy driver...Kelsey was standing there goin, "Man, it's rainin hard, but look at my man's buldging triceps as he swings that big club!!!!" --and I was just in awe at Alfred Nick Hensley's majesty....Never before have I seen Nick so focused on hitting something so hard...he must have been hittin it 350-400 yards...I couldn't tell cause it was dark and raining but I know it was going a LONG way.cause I could see it for a while...but then it would disappear from sight. I think he might have hit a car on 565...I promise cause it like freaked out...and swerved....

...I kept waiting for a golfball to get struck by lightning...it didn't happen but it'd have been really cool.

Anyway, back to today...after I got off at the desk I was off for the day. So I went back to the room and tried to sleep till 1...which for the most part I was successful...save for a few interuptions from the desk.

I went to Krystal to get some food. It was quite delicious. I mean I'd have gone to White Castle but as far as I know...the closest one is in Nashville. And I mean shit...gas is expensive.

I'm supposed to play guitar for Ms. Reah Lee this evening. I'm a little nervous about it because I don't think I've ever just sat down and played all my stuff all the way through...plus I barely know her. But she gets the pleasure of hearing my horrible voice and my evil guitar licks. Yeah I said it. EVIL GUITAR LICKS.

I've come to a few realizations in the past couple of days. Here they are in no specific order:

1. Squeezable Jelly is so much easier than jar jelly.
2. Girls can be damn confusing.
3. Guys can make girls damn confused.
4. John Gifford ruins every bike he comes into contact with.
5. It does not pay off to put yourself out there.
6. It does pay off to keep your mouth shut.
7. There's got to be something wrong when you wake up screaming.


Eh...I dunno...maybe I know a lot more than I'm writing.

So, um...I had a dream about Courtney last night. I don't know why. I haven't seen her in a year. And it was a very interesting dream because it was the both of us just sitting there talking. It was like we were catching up. Maybe my subconcious is trying to tell me something. But it sucks cause if I call her she won't answer and if I leave a message she won't call back. Calling and leaving messages is worthless. No one ever calls me back. I guess I should catch a hint from that...maybe people just don't want to talk to me.

Ok, time for some sidenotes.

1. Nick swings a golf club like a heroine addict hits a vein with a seringe.
2. Cartoon Network's adult swim sums up the mishap with MTV interrupting PINK FLOYD'S reunion set at Live 8:
"To the assholes at MTV. When a television station has exclusive rights to footage, such as Pink Floyd's live 8 performance, isn't it the best idea to NEVER show it, but instead to show yuppie metro VJs? How dare you interrupt PINK FLOYD! Maybe instead of MTV we should call it MCSOSNAATV: Music Comes Second Or Sometimes Not At All Television." -that cracks me up every night when I see it.
3. I don't even care if I play this song for you.
4. Kelly Lamb, sitting at the desk in the office. I'll follow you anywhere oh Captain my Captain.
5. "Eff Off."
6. I've got rythm. I'm the king of rythm...as long as no one else plays along too.
7. it's absolutely boring right now.
8. I think washing my hands is stupid. I refuse to do it anymore...so if you're gonna shake my hand...here's your warning...also, I'm considering a career in the fast food industry.
9. Actually when I grow up I want to be the guy that sweeps garages...like at those tire places...I dont' even want to be the guy that changes the tires...I just want to sweep the floors.
10. This Goatee is definitely getting out of control.
11. That's just enough.

(Here's a song I wrote the other night)
Alone Time

Everyone needs alone time
I like to spend mine with you
Most times you do not mind
But every now and then
You need alone time too

And it's those times that I regret
And it's these days that I can't forget
Those sleepless nights without you
Without you

You tell me something's wrong tonight
And I would love just to make it right
I want to come to your window
Sing to you there

You say you're broken and can't be fixed
You stay up alone watching flicks
But maybe I am your missing part
I'd love to be

And it's those times that I regret
And it's these days I can't forget
Those sleepless nights without you
Without you

Living life...

Uh...so I don't know quite what to write about today. I'm working Kelsey's shift at the CCRH front desk and I'm already bored...yeah, been here like 15 minutes and I'm BORED. I mean at least this summer there's a tv...last summer there was barely even a computer.

I've done some really stupid things in the past couple or three days, and here they are in no specific order:


-walked back from Southeast at 3:30 AM...only to discover my cell phone was still in Mary's room and my car was still at CCRH.
-I wrote this really open letter to this really awesome girl. I should really keep my trap shut.
-had an interesting few text messages with one ridiculous Jared George Dovers...who's blog seems to have disappeared completely from existence.
-Got stood up by some girl...whose number I had no business having in the first place.
-Went to McDonalds for breakfast this morning...ordered Dr. Pepper to drink and got DIET coke instead...assholes.
-gave her the song I wrote...
-hung out with Mallorie and Mary at Southeast


I've done some really awesome things in the past couple or three days, and here they are in no specific order:

-wrote a song for girl with the open letter.
-hung out with Mallorie and Mary at Southeast
-Spent some quality time with one Stephanie A. Mangrum
-Took Kelsey's CCRH morning shift so she could go on vacation...? only to come back a day early? I dunno about that one.
-ate dinner with Joe Ybarra, Malissa, Kelly, and one Mr. A. Davila.


I think it's time for some sidenotes:

1. "Thanks for last night. I love you two guys." - M. Newberry (taken wildly out of context)
2. "It always seems like you're sleeping when I call you now and that it's never a good time to talk to you. Don't you have to work anymore?" - Wanda M. Wilson
3. power keeps blinkin on and off...and it sucks.
4. Look out for Dennis here he come here he come!
5. I am almost confident that when this storm hits the Conference Assistants will be called to action not only in North, but also at Southeast.
6. this goatee might be getting a little out of control.
7. Why can't I ever just keep my mouth shut?
8. GO FORTH CHARGER FRESHMEN!
9. Sing a lullabye.
10. GET BACK ON THE DAMN HORSE.
11. Man those Delta Chi guys singing that "Freshmen" song by the Verve Pipe...really really lame...I apologize to anyone that statement offends...only except not...you effin lameasses.

FOR THE LIFE OF ME
I CANNOT REMEMBER
WHATEVER MADE US THINK THAT WE WERE WISE
AND WE'D NEVER COMPROMISE...

and everyone shouting it at the top of their lungs drunk off their asses...so musically challenged...poor frat boys...

No seriously...I apologize to anyone that really offends.















HAHA, just kidding again. You suck.

test

...Maybe Satan?

he must be behind it all.

The other day I'm riding my bike around campus...june bug hits me in the effing face....on the next loop, I'm riding down the hill beside Spragins Hall and this evil wasp/bee/hornet thing flew out of the trees, landed on my knee and proceeded to sting the ever loving love out of me....I mean it burned like a sailor's urine after two days of shore leave off the coast of ITLY....yeah...I know...it just effin hurt.

"cause you were born on the fourth of july, let freedom ring...but somethin on the surface it stinks..."

So many many days have passed since I have explored the innermost sanctum of my hilarious antics...wait...does that make any sense? I sincerely doubt it and I refuse to explore that avenue of discussion any more at this juncture.

uh...I'm on duty right now...I've got the leash that is the PAGER...but it substitutes as the name SATAN (PAGER)...eh...no one can really understand unless they have it for a night...

So many things going on in my life right now....the rest of the fourth after the bee sting...let's see.
-5 minutes later John Gifford was bouncin off the pavement. His bike wigged out on him and he went flyin over the handle bars...it was pretty funny after I found out he wasn't dead.
-So then we all went to Malissa's pool, and about the time we sat down it got cloudy and rained.
-So we then left for the boro and the parent's cookout.
-Played "wise and otherwise" as well as "sequence"
-I cooked about 70 billion hotdogs.
-My dad and 44 of his closest friends all played the same stupid bluegrass song over and over again "doo-do d00-doo Dooo-do" goes the bass line...ridiculous.
-Watched fireworks
-Told the parents I might go on a date with a hooters girl.
-Malissa told the parents the girl had had a breast job (completely unecessarily by the way) and I was super pissed about it...still am. It's like she was looking for a way to put that in there all night...and then the only person who thought it was funny was her. IDIOT.
-Rode back to the Huntsville

Wrote a song the other night. I'm doing pretty well with the whole song thing I think...maybe. I just wish I could FUCKING write about something else. And she doesn't even care.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna have to let you all sort this one out for yourself.

No sidenotes this time. Well, maybe just one.

Sidenote:
1. ES&D.