25 lbs. on each arm...I'm rockin hard

getting stronger...

So, I've been lifting these free weights in my room for about a week now(not everyday but often). It's funny when skinny runners lift weights...it takes hardly any time to see change. I can already tell I'm getting bigger. And I definitely am already stronger. I'm training to kick Michael Law's ass in arm wrestling. He beat me at Locos in Birmingham...and it was only because he's stronger...not stronger willed. So I'm gonna get him. You tell him I'm comin if you see him. You tell him I'm comin with my colla popped and my aviators blarin...you tell him I'm gonna take him down Lincoln Hawk style..>OVER THE TOP.

Hmmmm...so what's going on with me. Blah. I went to Birmingham yesterday to see my brother graduate from Law School. Then we all went to Decatur for a cookout at his house. Malissa came to the cookout and Sully popped his collar and walked around without the leash. He was spazin though, "Oh my gosh...so much yard and so much for me to pee on...I NEED WATER! NO...DR. PEPPER!" Please keep in mind that Sully only talks to me.

Letting go.

Moving on.

Stepping out.

Doing fine.

Hurting too.

This is me.

I'm really enjoying my new job. I am working with some really awesome people and I think it's going to be a lot of fun this summer. I gave Rachel a call the other night. It was really awesome to just talk to her. She's got this voice...well, I don't know what it is about it, but well.... I dunno...I don't know what I'm saying...but it was nice to talk to her.

UAH finally got on the facebook. I'm addicted and it sucks...but I've already found so many people that I'd lost contact with. It's very strange. 4 years later...who knew...??? not me.

This morning...I've lifted. Now I am enjoying a nice Dr.Pepper...watching "Scent of a Woman"--Later today Malissa's taking me to the boro to get the car (since I left it there yesterday before going to birmingham and my parents spent the night in Decatur...I just rode back to the building with the Sullinator...DANCING THE WHOLE WAY)...then later I'm having dinner with Mr. Jared George Dovers (Esquire).
Wonder if "Y'barrah" is around...probably not. Lameass.

Sidenoting:

1. If you be my bodyguard I will be your long lost pal.
2. "TV rots your brain" -Jared George
3. www.thefacebook.com is the devil.
4. Joe Ybarra is my new best friend.
5. yes, I shook Evan's hand the other night.
6. grape snowcones still suck.
7. Sully makes yellow snowcones.
8. I almost don't think about it anymore...almost.
9. That's the last time you stab me old man.
10. uncomfortable conversations with my father about the confederate flag.
11. I miss the bronco.

A bout with CNS and an Open Mic

Somewhere there's a girl
Somewhere she's around
Here there is this boy
Who had a spring-time smile
She turned into a summer frown
You could say she did it
You could say she brought him down

He played music in a bar last night
On nervous motivation and a Jack Daniel's shot
Amy Dan walked out
Outside it wasn't hot
Unlike a normal Bama May night
And for awhile he forgot
But now he's aware she's gone

He talked to her at yesterday's last light
Tried to have a conversation
To make things right
But all he got was her vague interpretation
Of Vangough's Starry Night
That's all he'll ever get
And the beat goes on




Eh. So, I am moved into my new room at NCRH...and I start my new job tomorrow. Not a whole lot going on. I'm in the computer lab because CNS still hasn't got the mess figured out with letting me have internet in my room. So to all of you whom I talk to on a regular basis through AIM...sorry I ain't around...nothing personal.

I have a land line now....it's so different not to just depend on your cell phone. It's crazy...CRAZY. I can talk. I can talk for as many minutes as I want....ANY TIME I WANT...if only there were someone to talk to...blah.

So last night, Me, Malissa, John Phillippe, Amy "assabag" Gardner, and Jonathan "moassabag" Gardner went to watch the Sabatini siblings play an open mic night at a local bar downtown. It was pretty cool. A nice relaxed atmosphere...we got there about 10 or so after leaving Humphree's...I was feeling ok. I hadn't eaten since 11:30AM and I decided that one shot of JACK would do the trick...and since I'm a lightweight...it did. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't drunk...not by any means...but I felt better...more relaxed. I didn't drink anymore that night....because I decided to play at the open mic too. CRAZY. I've never done anything like that before...it was awesome. I had to borrow Clare's guitar but it wasn't so bad...and I don't think I screwed up terribly bad. I got up to the mic and said "Well, I hope this ain't the worst thing you hear tonight but Hell, it might be."--it was so strange...I had no idea that the spotlights were going to shine right into my eyes. Anyway, I played three songs. "I Do" by Jude, "Time Time" by ME...and "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake....I introduced the last song by saying "I don't know how many of you are Justin Timberlake fans out there..." HAHAHAHAHAHA....anyway...it was a good way to end. I got several compliments on my vocals, and Clare's brother Chris (whom I'd never met before) said that he loved my style. They have open mics there every monday night and I think I'll go back again...play some more of my own stuff. Anyway, it's so strange to have actually put some of me out there like that...that was the most people I've ever played infront of...and they didn't boo me off the stage...maybe I am doing something right....maybe I'm doing it all wrong. Amy and JG got their "in quote" nicknames because they didn't stick around to watch me play. I wouldn't be ticked that they left except that they stayed right until I was plugging in...anyway, I'm not really mad. I could give a shit less if they are there to listen to me anyway. I was actually going to dedicate the first song I played to their upcoming October Wedding but that'd have been dumb. I can see that now. I mean the song is about wishing them happiness...and clearly if they aren't there to receive the warm wishes then they don't deserve them.

Amy: "Do you think Matt will be mad if we leave?"
John: "Knowing Matt...probably."
JG: "Yeah, you'll probably get a long email about it."

HEY JG....FUCK YOU. I've hated your ass from day one.

Amy gets nothing from me. Not one word.



But honestly, I'm not as angry as this whole thing seems. I'm actually doing just fine. I've run. I've lifted. I'm putting myself in Hell too. No more of this weak-ass shit.

Sidenotes:

1. It gets me real pissed off...
2. Grape snow cones suck.
3. Can't wait till I have internet in my room.
4. Lovin the song "Fuzzy" by The Incredible Moses Leroy
5. It was awesome to see John Phillippe in full force again.
6. Someday NEVER COMES.
7. Also lovin the song "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
8. "I'm in love with a fan and she thinks I'm a star." -Jude
9. Leslie Gray what are you doing?
10. "I thought I'd pin a 20 dollar bill on his collar and wish him the best of luck" -Ron White
11. What makes you think you have the right to do that?

Time rolls on
and dreams they die
And I have thrown out
The pictures I had
Of you and I
But if you're ever wondering if
Love can be true
Think of me and remember darlin'
Like I do
-Jude (I do)

Standin on a corner in Chattanooga

Car blew a gasket in Chattanooga...real scary...real real...real ghetto. It happened at 11:30 PM...downtown...car was towed to the boro...long story, if you really want to know it...then just ask me about it, my AIM is Roaringdark. (Like anyone who reads this doesn't know what my aim is)--anylot...on with the update.

CLEMSON : SUCKED.
-hot as balls
-long drive
-car messed up
-ran like poo on a stick
-totally not a productive weekend

So...it's summer time and the weather is hot...I've got women I've got women on my mind...

ok, not really...just a few things I'm wondering about today:

-Is it just me or did phones stop working both ways? I seem to be doing a lot of calling and getting no call backs...why do I have to initiate interaction? Probably because if I didn't people (she) would forget I exist...but it's not just her...it's other people too.
-maybe I don't exist...maybe I am a fictional character in some ridiculous movie about a boy who can see happiness but can't quite reach it...an ironic and dark comedy.
-I wrote this really funky riff last night...it's gonna be awesome. Not that anyone REALLY cares what's going on with my music.

Once apon a time, a boy met a girl and they lived happily ever after...fairytales. I hate them. How true my lyric in "Picture Me With You" is--"I don't want a fairytale I want something real"--Well, this is reality...I guess I got what I wanted...welcome to paradise...whatever.

Aaron Key just told me "Merry Christmas"--I wished him a "Merry Christmas" as well. I don't see why it should be reserved that we only say it once a year...why not say "Merry Christmas" all year long...why can't I eat candy canes and sugar cookies? Why shouldn't I celebrate His birthday all year long? I SHOULD...and I SHOULD BE HAPPY DOING IT.

So, I'm at work right now...not a whole lot going on. I guess it's time for some sidenotes.

1. Who said you could do that?
2. Where is WALDO?
3. Why do I have a stapler stuck to my behind?
4. I get off in 31 minutes.
5. Lunch plans I guess are off? Maybe plans were never finalized? I dunno...
6. Jared Dovers--a beautiful human being. Someday he'll appreciate his stunning good looks.
7. Kelly Lamb is trekking through Rome. But little is mentioned of her cohort "Diablo Duckie"
8. Bronco driving isn't all that bad. The gas mileage isn't good, but once you get used to driving the beast it's really ok.
9. Moving out and moving in...a lack of the feeling of permanence to a place of residence...sure wish I felt like I had a home.
10. Leannie?
11. Lie_In_the_Sound...what's up Catherine?
12. Everyone should check out the antiblogv2.0 http://frozenpancake.blogspot.com
13. For an example of what a crappy-talk-above-your-head blog is you should check out http://jaredgeorge.blogspot.com

On the day I was born
The Nurses all gathered round
And gazed in wild-wonder
At the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up
She said, "leave this one alone"
She could tell right away
That I was bad to the bone
b-b-b-b-b-buh bad...b-b-b-b-buh bad
Bad to to the bone

A completely Un-Original idea

The 2004-2005 Soundtrack (In complete RANDOM order)

1. More Than a Feeling- Boston (totally Mallorie's song, someday we'll work on that Mustang)
2. Jet Airliner- Steve Miller Band (I always picture wings coming out of my car as I'm driving to the boro listening to this song)
3. Georgia Peaches- Lynyrd Skynyrd (For all them GA peaches: Caitlin Heider, Kelly Lamb, Rebecca Blount)
4. Ghost of You-Howie Day (Laura...goes without an explanation)
5. My Girlfriend Is Such a Mess- Roger Yelvington (explodes onto the scene in the past three days)
6. I DO- Jude (bracing myself for an October Wedding)
7. Why Can't You Be Nicer To Me?- The White Stripes (Laura)
8. Gravedigger- Dave Matthews (perfect rythm for XC racing)
9. Shelter From the Storm- Bob Dylan (Canoe Trip disaster with Pruitt)
10. All These Things That I've Done- The Killers (more running Music)
11. One Angry Dwarf-Ben Folds (someone told me I was abraisive, then they made me an RA)
12. Pinball Wizard- The Who (Sully is the deaf,dumb, and blind kid...he sure plays a mean pinball)
13. Can't Stop Now- Keane (I've got troubles of my own)
14. Refugee- Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers (Baby, We ain't the first...I'm sure alot of other lovers had it worse...I know THIS AIN'T REAL TO YOU!!!...)
15. On My Way- Ben Kweller (I'm in love with this girl...who's as pretty as a flower...)
16. Please Do Not Go-The Violent Femmes (Tell you man I'm stuck on this lovely girl)
17. Pictures of You- The Cure (So many people that I only get to see in pictures or will only get to see in pictures...Leslie...Amy...Clare...Courtney...Laura....Malissa soon...)
18. Wagon Wheel- Old Crow Medicine Show (Last summer...I'm going there again)
19. Sweet Home Alabama- Lynyrd Skynyrd (Jared Dovers is coming home...get used to it Jared...there ain't no place like it)
20. Hooked On a Feeling- B.J. Thomas (for last October, and finding Leannie)
21. Lost Cause- Beck (for April...and figuring out what Leannie is...someone I dreamed I guess)
22. Summer Song- Chad and Jeremy (the end of my running, the end of my romance, the end of school)
23. Goodnight Elisabeth- The Counting Crows (So much of everyone I know in that song)
24. I'm Going Straight To Hell- Driving and Crying (just like my momma said...)
25. You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma- ? (for Retha Perkins)
26. You and I Both- Jason Mraz (there are words aren't there?)
27. Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond (for Andrew Hodges and John Phillippe)
28. Save Me- Remy Zero (because I want to be superman)
29. Champagne High- Sister Hazel (still bracing for that October Wedding)
30. I AM TRYING TO BREAK YOUR HEART- Wilco (to me from every girl I've ever dated)
31. Seven Bridges Road- The Eagles
32. America- Simon and Garfunkel (I guess you can see it's like a dream to me now...)
33. Happier- Guster (I wonder if it has made her happier)
34. Rain King- The Counting Crows (I deserve a little more... I belong in the service of a queen, I belong anywhere but inbetween, she's been lying, I've been thinking, and I am the rain king)
35. What Went Wrong- Blink 182 (Laura)
36. Thunder Road- Bruce Springsteen (for Clare, wherever she is)
37. Like a Rolling Stone- Bob Dylan ("this song is like the perfect 'you bitch' song!"-John Phillippe)
38. Name-Goo Goo Dolls ("I think about you all the time")
39. Crazy On You- Heart (Sully on the Rawhide bone)
40. More than Words- Extreme (I never needed to hear her say it, I only wish she'd somehow felt the same way)
41. You're Not the Boss of Me- They Might Be Giants (Malissa ain't the boss no more)
42. Vindicated- Dashboard Confessional (from Spiderman II...also preparing for the October Wedding)
43. Ole (the Sully Song)- Myself
44. Wonderwall- Oasis (because there aren't any second chances now)
45. Omaha- The Counting Crows ("Hey Mister,if you're gonna walk on water, could you drop a line my way?")
46. Since When Did the Radio Become Crap?- Myself (my little secret)
47. Things Change- Dwight Yokam (She said you once cried my name...shit... baby, thing's change)
48. Evaporated- Ben Folds ("I poured my heart out, I poured my heart out, it evaporated...see?" --nothing new. I always pour my heart out. I'm beginning to think there must be something wrong with me...Maybe I should poke holes in my heart so it doesn't fill up and that way I won't be able to pour it out)
49. I'm Always In Love- Wilco ("Why I wonder, is my heart full of holes?")
50. El Scorcho- Weezer ("How stupid is it? I can't talk about it, I have to sing about it and make a record of my heart")
51. 50 ways to Leave your Lover- Paul Simon
52. Friends in Low Places- Garth Brooks (in honor of my friend Mr. Evan Williams)
53. We are Gonna Be Friends- The White Stripes (For Kelly Lamb)
54. Just What I Needed- The Kars (Zach Koch does a killer rendition at a camp fire)
55. Oh Boy- Buddy Holly & the Crickets (You don't know what you been missin')
56. Bad Company-Bad Company (For all my teammates)
57. Fire and Rain- James Taylor (For Malissa leaving)
58. Always and Forever- Kip Dynamite (so crucial to the harassment of Laura)
59. Wigwam- Bob Dylan on the Royal Tennenbaums Soundtrack (DAH-DAH-DAH-DEEE)
60. OH No I dropped the EFF BOMB- Myself (another one of my little secrets)
61. ROCKIN THE SUBURBS- Ben Folds (In a haze these days I pull up to the stoplight I can feel somethin's not right, I can feel that somethin's not right, I can see someone's blastin me with hate and bass, sendin dirty vibes my way because my great-great-great-great grandad whipped someone's great-great-great-great-grandaddy's slaves...it wasn't my idea, never was my idea...I just drove to the store to get some preparation H...it gets me real pissed off and it makes me want to say *explitive deleted*)


questions and comments are welcome

My Question to you is: Do YOU has what it takes?

I reckon it's about time for a post.

Much has been going on. Finals. But anyone who's been through it knows.

I typed an estimated 47 double spaced pages in about 48 hours. One can see how this would affect the wrists/carpaltunnels into not wanting to type anymore...so that's why I've kinda put the update off.

Blah. Let's see...I guess it'd be easier to just shoot off a list.

-Ate lunch with Laura yesterday
-Bevil Center with Neebo and the Kelsonator courteousy of the Malice-UH...I heart chocolate cake.
-Aintry? This river STILL don't go nowhere near Aintry. You boys are STILL lost. -Yeah, I watched Deliverance will Kelly and Malissa again last night.
-I definitely was paying for the late night escapades this morning at practice, but the times didn't show it. FEELING IT NOW THOUGH. ...ah my head...see it's a bad idea to start a workout dehydrated...
-Finals are over. The GPA is hurting. NO, I don't want to talk about it.
-I found Jared Dovers's soundtrack to 2004-2005 to be most interesting. I believe I will do one also since I cannot be original. AT ALL.
-Been observing at Huntsville High School. I was not impressed...not really. Nice looking new school though.
-This morning's workout and projected times: 800m (2:14) 4min rest-600m (1:40)-3min rest-400m (66) 2min rest-200m (33)
-Actual times I hit this morning: 2:12,1:40,66,33---and I was a hurtin'
-Went and registered for classes next fall.
-Fed the fish at the desk (was very surprised to see Jeremy still working. He was there when I left a little after 2 last night...and it was about 9:15 or so when I came by)

Sidenotes:
1.To those that have hurt the Kelly, you know who you are, and I know who you are...just keep that in mind when I'm bashing your faces in with a shovel.
2.Justin Pruitt is bringing home two big breakfast combos from McDonalds...I am salivating with anticipation.
3. What? Is there something on my face? I mean besides my nose.
4. "Those have got to be the ugliest shoes I have ever seen." "I don't like your new watch" ---remind me again why I've been feeling like it's a bad thing being single? It's a shame I know. I do miss her. It's an even bigger shame that I hold my tounge. I love her in spite of all those things she told me, and in spite of all the things she never shared. She could have told me anything...I would have understood.
5. "My drink is slimy! AH AH AH...I hate that...AH...GET OUT OF MY DRINK!!!!"
6. Sully had to go to outside last night more than any other dog I've ever encountered in my life...I think he needs to see a vet. He better not act like this when he stays with me next week.
7. I think Laura misses Buster. I never told her I had a dog named Buster.
8. Justin Pruitt's times this morning: 2:13, 1:39, 64, 30---see...he went to bed last night, and wasn't "dehydrated"

And if I die in Raleigh
At least I will die free
So rock me...