A bout with CNS and an Open Mic

Somewhere there's a girl
Somewhere she's around
Here there is this boy
Who had a spring-time smile
She turned into a summer frown
You could say she did it
You could say she brought him down

He played music in a bar last night
On nervous motivation and a Jack Daniel's shot
Amy Dan walked out
Outside it wasn't hot
Unlike a normal Bama May night
And for awhile he forgot
But now he's aware she's gone

He talked to her at yesterday's last light
Tried to have a conversation
To make things right
But all he got was her vague interpretation
Of Vangough's Starry Night
That's all he'll ever get
And the beat goes on




Eh. So, I am moved into my new room at NCRH...and I start my new job tomorrow. Not a whole lot going on. I'm in the computer lab because CNS still hasn't got the mess figured out with letting me have internet in my room. So to all of you whom I talk to on a regular basis through AIM...sorry I ain't around...nothing personal.

I have a land line now....it's so different not to just depend on your cell phone. It's crazy...CRAZY. I can talk. I can talk for as many minutes as I want....ANY TIME I WANT...if only there were someone to talk to...blah.

So last night, Me, Malissa, John Phillippe, Amy "assabag" Gardner, and Jonathan "moassabag" Gardner went to watch the Sabatini siblings play an open mic night at a local bar downtown. It was pretty cool. A nice relaxed atmosphere...we got there about 10 or so after leaving Humphree's...I was feeling ok. I hadn't eaten since 11:30AM and I decided that one shot of JACK would do the trick...and since I'm a lightweight...it did. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't drunk...not by any means...but I felt better...more relaxed. I didn't drink anymore that night....because I decided to play at the open mic too. CRAZY. I've never done anything like that before...it was awesome. I had to borrow Clare's guitar but it wasn't so bad...and I don't think I screwed up terribly bad. I got up to the mic and said "Well, I hope this ain't the worst thing you hear tonight but Hell, it might be."--it was so strange...I had no idea that the spotlights were going to shine right into my eyes. Anyway, I played three songs. "I Do" by Jude, "Time Time" by ME...and "Cry Me a River" by Justin Timberlake....I introduced the last song by saying "I don't know how many of you are Justin Timberlake fans out there..." HAHAHAHAHAHA....anyway...it was a good way to end. I got several compliments on my vocals, and Clare's brother Chris (whom I'd never met before) said that he loved my style. They have open mics there every monday night and I think I'll go back again...play some more of my own stuff. Anyway, it's so strange to have actually put some of me out there like that...that was the most people I've ever played infront of...and they didn't boo me off the stage...maybe I am doing something right....maybe I'm doing it all wrong. Amy and JG got their "in quote" nicknames because they didn't stick around to watch me play. I wouldn't be ticked that they left except that they stayed right until I was plugging in...anyway, I'm not really mad. I could give a shit less if they are there to listen to me anyway. I was actually going to dedicate the first song I played to their upcoming October Wedding but that'd have been dumb. I can see that now. I mean the song is about wishing them happiness...and clearly if they aren't there to receive the warm wishes then they don't deserve them.

Amy: "Do you think Matt will be mad if we leave?"
John: "Knowing Matt...probably."
JG: "Yeah, you'll probably get a long email about it."

HEY JG....FUCK YOU. I've hated your ass from day one.

Amy gets nothing from me. Not one word.



But honestly, I'm not as angry as this whole thing seems. I'm actually doing just fine. I've run. I've lifted. I'm putting myself in Hell too. No more of this weak-ass shit.

Sidenotes:

1. It gets me real pissed off...
2. Grape snow cones suck.
3. Can't wait till I have internet in my room.
4. Lovin the song "Fuzzy" by The Incredible Moses Leroy
5. It was awesome to see John Phillippe in full force again.
6. Someday NEVER COMES.
7. Also lovin the song "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers
8. "I'm in love with a fan and she thinks I'm a star." -Jude
9. Leslie Gray what are you doing?
10. "I thought I'd pin a 20 dollar bill on his collar and wish him the best of luck" -Ron White
11. What makes you think you have the right to do that?

Time rolls on
and dreams they die
And I have thrown out
The pictures I had
Of you and I
But if you're ever wondering if
Love can be true
Think of me and remember darlin'
Like I do
-Jude (I do)