And the award for the biggest FOOL in the world goes to...
(the envelope please).....
ME...
*total look of shock and dismay on my face*...no really.
So I sent a letter today. An invitation...to this girl I care much for. I dropped the letter in the mailbox. Turned around...went to my room. Got on the facebook and realized what a fool I am. Got back up to go to get the letter back...GONE...WHO KNEW THE MAIL WOULD BE ON TIME...for once....I am a fool and... In about 2 days, she'll know too.
*SIGH*
In about two days...she'll know too. Damn, don't you just feel like an ass. Yes, yes I do. Am I not supposed to have what I want? It serves me right I guess. I drag my feet around...always stumbling over things that don't matter, because I don't want to be that guy. That guy that interupts a relationship...because I've been on the other side of that too many times (once is too many)...no one can really understand what I'm saying right now. I am the only one that knows the real truth to this story.
To feel so much and have no way to let it out...to hold it in...I am damned. I actually said in my letter, "damned if I do...damned if I don't"--I guess it's true. How FUCKING ironic.
After writing all this...I'll wish I hadn't...but I'm going to leave it up. How should I feel? TELL ME what I should do? I am at the end of my rope here.
Am I doomed to always feel too much for those who care not...for those who have no idea that I care...for those that just can't appreciate me...or haven't realized they should?
It is infuriating.
"God it's so painful something that so close is still so far out of reach." -Tom Petty
I'm about to turn 23...yay.
No one even reads this stupid thing.
ME...
*total look of shock and dismay on my face*...no really.
So I sent a letter today. An invitation...to this girl I care much for. I dropped the letter in the mailbox. Turned around...went to my room. Got on the facebook and realized what a fool I am. Got back up to go to get the letter back...GONE...WHO KNEW THE MAIL WOULD BE ON TIME...for once....I am a fool and... In about 2 days, she'll know too.
*SIGH*
In about two days...she'll know too. Damn, don't you just feel like an ass. Yes, yes I do. Am I not supposed to have what I want? It serves me right I guess. I drag my feet around...always stumbling over things that don't matter, because I don't want to be that guy. That guy that interupts a relationship...because I've been on the other side of that too many times (once is too many)...no one can really understand what I'm saying right now. I am the only one that knows the real truth to this story.
To feel so much and have no way to let it out...to hold it in...I am damned. I actually said in my letter, "damned if I do...damned if I don't"--I guess it's true. How FUCKING ironic.
After writing all this...I'll wish I hadn't...but I'm going to leave it up. How should I feel? TELL ME what I should do? I am at the end of my rope here.
Am I doomed to always feel too much for those who care not...for those who have no idea that I care...for those that just can't appreciate me...or haven't realized they should?
It is infuriating.
"God it's so painful something that so close is still so far out of reach." -Tom Petty
I'm about to turn 23...yay.
No one even reads this stupid thing.
posted by Hew Tyler | 11:50 PM
3 Comments:
I did something like that once, except after I'd written the letter and went to deliver it I found out he was asleep or something, so after coming so far I chickened out after that and just burned it. I don't know if it would have made any difference had he known, but to this day I still wonder if it would have and wish I'd had more guts to just say what I felt. You may get shot down and be disappointed or embarrassed, but when you say nothing at all you lose all chances at getting what you want. I know it's cliche to say you'll never know unless you say something but things are only cliche because they're true. I really hope you end up with what you're looking for....
You are still a young man!
I read this every so often... not too much though... lol. You know that though, I told you tonight.
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