Thirteen dollars and fifty cents...

The library wants their money. The library can deal. And part of dealing is shutting up about it.

Damn it. Just damn it. There's got to be some kind of resolution.

So, here we are no one else...I drove Danielle to Scottsboro for a change in routine, because we never leave this damn campus...and we got the day off. I didn't replace anyone. How can anyone be replaced? If you put another person in someone's place...they aren't the same as that person. Everyone is unique, so it's damned pointless to say that you've "been replaced." Fuck that...and fuck you too while we're at it. I don't care. I still don't care...and I'm not gonna care. So deal. And part of dealing is shutting up about it.

Dani and I ate lunch at Payne's with my father, and then we came back to the house to put the boat in. Now, when I say we put the boat in, I'm not saying that we hooked up a motorboat to a trailer and backed it into a river...no. We tied a flatbottom boat with no motor to the back of the tractor and drug it down to the river. We had paddles. We paddled. Through the milfoil. Flash backs of a horrible canoe trip...they forced my hand when infact, my stupid dog...the stupid thing...Rascal...gah...We're about 45 yards out in the river and Rascal comes bounding down the shore, into the water, and swims out to the boat, and proceeds to swim around the boat and will not stop, and won't go back to shore...and we can't lift him into the boat...so I'm scared he's going to drown because well, I'm paranoid about that shit now. So Dani and I start paddling back to shore, and whenever we take a turn, Rascal ends up under the boat. Stupid dog. I was just yelling at him, not in a mean way but like gah, "stupid...you stupid...what are you going to when you can't touch bottom? Do you feel better now? You got us to stop and pay attention to you." But it was cute in a way because he didn't want to be left behind--and I don't blame him. Who wants to be abandoned? We pulled the boat back in. I drug it up the hill through the woods. Dad went to Decatur...Brian was playing video games. Danielle and I watched TV. Then, we finally decided to go rent some movies. While we were out...I picked up some alcohol. Dani doesn't drink...but hell, I was gonna because...I was off campus and well, it just seemed like a good idea at the time. But I can't pay attention through Capote, and I don't remember any of Identity...but we played scrabble too...and Dani and I were both kicking ass. Like 7 words we'd spelled and we were already at 115 and 154...she was winning. Then I got a phone call about being replaced...but it isn't like that. Dani's my friend...and I'm just your 'friend,' and you're 20 damned hours away...and like you've never "replaced" me. You're such a hypocrit. And just because I'm drunk doesn't mean I don't care. And just because the first words out of your mouth are "Joshua is being stupid" and I'm drunk, doesn't mean I care that he's being stupid either. So while I'm at it, fuck it, and fuck him too...because neither of you have done a bit of good for me. And you wanna get mad at me, and talk about being replaced when you replaced me repeatedly so... You know...just fuck it I'm done dealing with this... What right do you have to get pissed at me because I'm having a good time with a friend of mine. And just because I'm typing this doesn't mean I'm not going to regret it either. And just because I know I'm going to regret this doesn't mean I'm not going to post it...because damn it, it's my blog...and I'll write what I damn well choose to write. So deal with that. And I don't want to hear anything about it. If you call me about this and bitch at me...I'm going to bitch at you. And I'm going to hang up. And if you comment about it on here, I'm going to delete it. So deal.

Sidenotes will be added later. Yeah sidenotes, and I dont' care if you think they are stupid. I like them. And this is for me not you.