So it turns out...

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls...I don't give a damn how grossly drunk you got over spring break, or how red you got in your swimsuit...I'm sick of seeing all your boring beach pictures on facebook. Why didn't you go somewhere with some scenery or do something different? You do realize you can drink at places other than the beach?

And by the way Kenny Chesney, the beach is about as country as New York City. FUCK YOU.

Poets and Pirates...who are you kidding? What are you 48 now? Time to grow up.

The beach ain't country.