Skank in My Math Class
Dear Inconsiderate Whore,
Thank you for consistently arriving 15-20 minutes late for a 55 minute class. I really appreciate when you walk in and interrupt my train of thought, the professor's lecture, and everyone else's ordered lives. It really makes me happy when you come in with your huge bugeyed sunglasses on, cell phone ringing, and bumping everyone in the aisle with your goddam vera bradley duffel bag. It further makes my day when you then sit down and untwist the cap of your diet sundrop and it hisses loudly. You then go above and beyond rattling whatever wrapper to whatever rice-caked/granola snack you're eating that particular morning. I think it's really gracious of you to share your snack with your rather rotund friend that sits beside you and whom you write notes back and forth to during the part of the lecture you're actually present to hear. You are an absolute joy to partake in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. However, I've got a few suggestions to heighten your quality as a person and help you achieve more in your college career.
This is not fucking homeroom in high school. No one here cares that you were the head cheerleader last year and we don't all think you're beautiful. High school is not optional. You either go or your parents are arrested for truancy. College is a different matter. Be fucking respectful of your fellow classmates. We pay good money to go to school and improve our lives. If you're not adding to the atmosphere of academia check yourself bitch. You're a rail. I am all for you eating and gaining a little weight but could you refrain from doing so in class? I mean maybe you could eat your snack in your car during your drive or during whatever reason you're always fucking late to class. Hey, here's an idea...show some goddam human decency and when you bump some bastard with your vera bradley duffel bag, fucking say "excuse me." Wear a little less perfume, unless you are using it to mask the fish odor...you fucking choke the rest of us out with that shit. And hey, if you're going to practically miss half the class because of your tardiness, just stay home. I already don't want to be there and you fucking up the calm serenity of the class doesn't help. And the glaring looks you and your portly friend give me while you munch on your num nums and text on your cell phones (which usually aren't silenced) are awful. You're a rude little shit, freshman. Fuck you.
Thanks,
Hew
Thank you for consistently arriving 15-20 minutes late for a 55 minute class. I really appreciate when you walk in and interrupt my train of thought, the professor's lecture, and everyone else's ordered lives. It really makes me happy when you come in with your huge bugeyed sunglasses on, cell phone ringing, and bumping everyone in the aisle with your goddam vera bradley duffel bag. It further makes my day when you then sit down and untwist the cap of your diet sundrop and it hisses loudly. You then go above and beyond rattling whatever wrapper to whatever rice-caked/granola snack you're eating that particular morning. I think it's really gracious of you to share your snack with your rather rotund friend that sits beside you and whom you write notes back and forth to during the part of the lecture you're actually present to hear. You are an absolute joy to partake in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. However, I've got a few suggestions to heighten your quality as a person and help you achieve more in your college career.
This is not fucking homeroom in high school. No one here cares that you were the head cheerleader last year and we don't all think you're beautiful. High school is not optional. You either go or your parents are arrested for truancy. College is a different matter. Be fucking respectful of your fellow classmates. We pay good money to go to school and improve our lives. If you're not adding to the atmosphere of academia check yourself bitch. You're a rail. I am all for you eating and gaining a little weight but could you refrain from doing so in class? I mean maybe you could eat your snack in your car during your drive or during whatever reason you're always fucking late to class. Hey, here's an idea...show some goddam human decency and when you bump some bastard with your vera bradley duffel bag, fucking say "excuse me." Wear a little less perfume, unless you are using it to mask the fish odor...you fucking choke the rest of us out with that shit. And hey, if you're going to practically miss half the class because of your tardiness, just stay home. I already don't want to be there and you fucking up the calm serenity of the class doesn't help. And the glaring looks you and your portly friend give me while you munch on your num nums and text on your cell phones (which usually aren't silenced) are awful. You're a rude little shit, freshman. Fuck you.
Thanks,
Hew
posted by Hew Tyler | 8:07 AM
1 Comments:
Well said. I think every class I was in had one of those.
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